Santa's In Dover

Just turned twenty three

Still not free from the bars of society

But free from the ghosts and the demons and the pain

Free from the nights that drove me insane

Free from the fear of getting older and older

Accepting life as a stereotype

Sitting between a rock and a boulder

Gonna bite your shoulder

Free from the shitness and fake friends that chat crap

Free from her, from him, the giant green hat

Smiling outside and inside too

Four divided by two equals two

Now I get how two plus two makes four

It all fits

The pieces of the puzzle

Cake and coffee with the man I loved

Who is now a friend

Knowing this is a friendship that ain’t ever gon’ end

He was there, and they came and went

Wasted time, love and money was spent

I got true people now and there ain’t many left

 But I am so grateful that these are the ones that I’ve kept

Glad for my family and others in my life

GONE for the girl I used to call my wife

Ha, I guess she’s learning now

Her birthday today

I don’t give two shits

It’s like she never even existed

Got 3 penguins, I swear down blud

Made me happier than the lizard in the bud

-weiser advert

People don’t believe me when I say I’m a penguin

But what they don’t get is I am whatever I want to be

I can be tea

A bee

A dee-vee-dee

You still cant judge me

I’m Sabah DQ

So much has happened this year

Including losing the letter ‘KUE’

But I’ll write about that soon

Christmas is over

Santa’s in Dover

On the way back to Vegas

For another year of drinking and sleeping and eating

Clever twat

They save that for one day

He does it the whole goddam year

Queer

Guess for now I gotta say I’m loved

And I’m grateful

And blessed

Not stressed

Stress in a good way

I’m feeling gay

Gay in the good way

Hello 24^th year of life

Alhamdulillah

Hoping I make it to 24 then 25

But since I’m alive I know I’ma die

Good night melting snowman

I’ll see you again

The next time I'm dressed as a chocolate hen.

King Kongs Ribena: A Story of Friendship

Fragile like a Ribena bottle

Made of steel

Gripped in the paws of King Kong

Squeezing, twisting, mutilating

Singing his own beautiful song

All the innocent bystanders don’t bystand

But hurry on past

Watching this beautifully nightmare-ish scene

Accompanied with shock and a whole load of gasps

The giant monkey looks down on this faultless sound

The Ribena bottle falls to the ground

There’s a silent CRASH

He eyes up an old man

Hurriedly trying to dash away

But the quick, brash monkey

Catches him in his grasp

Swings him in the air

King Kong is a mad-man

The old man stays silent

Helplessly flailing arms and legs

To scream he doesn’t dare

Just clasps onto the monkeys hair

And then what happened next

Nobody expected

King Kong took the man

Put him in the middle of his palm

Face to face 

Eye to eye                       

I spy with my little eye

An old man beginning to cry

He falls to his knees

And the monkey takes pity

Contemplates allowing him to return to his city

He takes his giant finger and strokes the old man

As if to reassure that he ain’t gonna hurt him

Desert him

Murk him

From that day on

The old man and King-Kong

Became better than best friends

The monkey was a monster

Old man was drawing to an end

There were more Ribena bottles

More talking grapes

More tolerance towards the love of an ape

For his best friend

The old, old man

Who from that point on

Never ever ran

He stayed by his side

And he stayed by his

Because that’s kind of, sort of what friendship is

But then one day

King-Kong had a craving

For the blood of a human being who’s ageing

He looked down and didn’t see hands and feet

He saw a chunk of thirst-quenching meat

King-Kong was hungry

Old man was a dummy

Old man ended up in King-Kongs tummy.

THE END.

Moral of the story: King-Kong is gon’ eat you no matter how ugly you are.

Taxman

So cold

The ice around my heart is melting

So old

Inside that office it’s sweltering

Walking down Market Street thinking about people

And life and stuff

Like I always do

You should know me by know

If you don’t know me by now

You will never ever know me

But get to know me

Well not really

People in heat probably crave cold

And the people in cold always crave heat

People who can’t walk crave new feet

And people who can’t talk...

*sigh*

Miss you Pua

The years flown by

6 months without you

And a whole year without Khalloo

Although I don’t really remember him

But still, it hurts

Truth hurts

Haters hurt

Ah they ain't haters

They just don't like you

I ain’t talking about me

We argued about whether ain’t is or isn’t a word

“Ain’t ain’t a word!”

Yeah it is though

It’s a colloquialism

Get over it

Goddammit

I ain’t a normal Asian girl

She ain’t a normal black girl

Which I think is kind of why we click

I like this life

I’ll like the next one more

Will I? Won’t I?

Insha’Allah

Ha Taxman paid me my money back

Money he stole from me in the first place

Twat

Wires sticking out my poor laptop

Time to take you to the hospital methinks

“How’s Annam?”

“We don’t speak no more.”

*shocked face*

“...but you two were so close!”

Ha, so GLAD this year is nearly over!

Virgin John

I wanna get a cabin

Made of logs among the snow

A place where just me and you can go

By me and you I mean me and me

‘Cause I’ve learnt how to love the one you’re with

And that’s me

Sometimes being a girl is so fucked up

And it hurts and you cry

But fuck it one day you’ll die

Hopefully leave a few babies behind

And it’s all worth it

Sometimes being a boy is difficult too

I’m a soldier, I’m a warrior, I’m the man of the house

Mate, put away the mouse

I’m VJ, I’m VJ

“You’re VIRGIN JOHN”

People are hilarious

Especially drunken folk

Using a bench as a table

And a knife as a fork

I missed my Sparkly Bullshit

So I’ve been talking to the voices in my head

Fred the Dead Redhead

But he’s real, I forgot

Calling me after smoking pot

Still got bare love for my brudddddaaaa

He’s my sister from another mother

It’s weird how someone I didn’t know existed 3 weeks ago

Exists now

Only God knows why and how

Left my Cross earring in the back of the car

With the Birmingham spar

Is it wrong, I dunno

If both parties consent?

Ah, I bet you think you know what I’m talking about

But I bet you really just don’t know

I’m so excited

Remember Allah when things are good

And when things are bad

To get the happy you gotta know the sad

To love the warmth you gotta befriend the cold

And love the friends of purest gold

The ones you know you’ll know when you get old

This time of year comes round

And I count the friends that made it through

Only a few

It’s a shame I lost two

But the two I lost I’m glad I lost

‘cause I didn’t lose, they did

No longer wanna be corrupted

Only got myself to blame for trusting strangers

When stranger means danger

And everyone’s a stranger

I’m so blessed, I’m happy

Gonna be 23

No longer scared

I’m looking forward

I think my eyes twinkle again

I found myself this year

I found love in my hopeless state

I found love in a hopeless place

And maybe I will love again

But right now I’m number 1

It’s all about loving me

And loving friends and family

Come at me TWENTY-THREE

I’m ready

Oh and who the fuck is Kolaveri Di???

Princess Gonozuela Banana-Hammock

So much can happen in just one week

Living without the internet I feel like a deeek

Disattached and just so far

From the world I’ve always known

I swear without the net

A couple inches I’ve grown

Inches or millimetres

We talk about ultimate crap

But at least I ain’t a crapbag

More Princess Gonozuela Banana-Hammock

Oh there’s so much to tell

Life is pretty swell

Alhamdulillah

Media, PR, business

All finally taking off

Building the tools to build my spaceship

To fly me to the Moon

Let me play alone with Mars

And Cars and Stars and Lawyers

And stuff

It’s all happening

Life is pretty good

But I’m nearly almost 23

Meh

Guess I’m blessed to see another day

Been through the shit factory

Pulled myself out

Escaped alive but still kind of smell

Ain’t my fault

Just get me Febreze as well as Lord of The Rings for Christmas

Oh no, we don’t celebrate that

Guess I’ma make do with a gat

Racist excuse for a human being on the tube

Sparked bare controversy I swear

Before I tweeted I thought ‘Do I dare?’

But why not, it’s true

British woman complains about foreigners invading her country?

OPEN YOUR FUCKIN’ EYES

Makes me laugh how delusional people are

How blinded they are

Yeah carry on worshipping Madonna

And that’s what you get

I want me a long black cloak too

Just don’t call me Ninja

Or I’ll singe ya

With my finger

Til the next time myself and the internet cross paths again

We will meet again

In a den

See you there

Bring gloves.

Golden Dreads

Finally one of the crystals fell out

Like the tooth fairy awaiting a new tooth to sprout

I smell curdled milk screaming like a freak

The fact that I even know that makes me a milk geek

Or maybe I’m more milky

Like the snow that hasn’t yet fallen

But who am I kidding

Like something grey that used to be golden

Gon’ get myself a spindle

‘n’ weave me some gold thread

Wrap it through my hair

I’ve always wanted dreads

And from the midst of my iPhone

Appears the ultimate stranger

Warning signals are going off

Alarm bells are ringing out

Danger

Danger

Danger.

The Polish Are Coming

Fry an egg on my ear

It’s burning hot

Like how a bald man’s head must get in the heat

Like a desert snake would be if it had feet

What is up with me and my random typing

Stupid Iphone

I’m meant to be calling the police

But all of a sudden the Polish are coming

Arrgh better hide before they take all our fish

Megs got no future so she’s gonna hide in her room ‘til she’s dead

But you can’t interview a dead man

Well you can

I speak to MJ all the time

I miss him but Primark do his shoes now

But I kind of understand what they’re saying

Sparkly shoes and sparkly vampires

GOD DAMN, I WANT AN EDWARD

Rant over

Why do men not read books no more

I want to sit and discuss books

People don’t understand this

If I was mayor I’d make you all run around in fancy dress

Trying to persuade the Australian girl to come in as a Kangaroo

Surely they dress like that all the time in Oz

I am Dorothy

But better

Better shoes too

Don’t like dogs though so keep Toto away

It’s funny ‘cause I’m typing

And in my head for one day only

I have an Australian accent

Funny funny girl

Hands are cold at work

Hands are cold at home

The only time my hands aren’t cold is when they should be

No worries

Me got a warm heart.

LIBERATION

A million dead people does not equal liberation

But I felt so liberated tonight

A step in the right direction

Seeing so many others following my plight

We can do it, I know it

There’s a need for revolution

And the time is coming

For lighting bombs and diffusion

Need to set off a million more bombs

In the minds of the people

And show them the light

That we too can be equal

Standing in a crowd knowing we all want the same thing

Freedom, justice and peace we all sing

Tears well up in my eyes

At the injustice of the World

People are starving and dying and crying

Yet the Royals are sleeping on beds of pearls

We need to go to the root of the cause

Grab some weed killer

Take it to the moors

Set fire to the rain

Make the insane go sane

Make them see our pain

Free Palestine

Free Gaza

Free these trapped souls and minds

Stop them walking behind

Walk in front and sprint on water

Be proud of who you are

You’re somebody’s daughter

And you’re somebody’s son

There’s a mark on the Moon

But beauty is imperfect

Nothing is beautiful

Unless it has a defect

And the World is full of them

But they’re all things we can eradicate

Hold my hand and then hold the person’s next to you

Together we can make history

Re-write fate

I have tears in my eyes

‘Cause now I see how much is possible

Let’s change the world and all its hate

Let’s live and let live, and love and mate

I know we can do it

The passion is there

Turn the oxygen we breathe into

Fuel-filled air

It's burning inside me

It actually physically hurts my heart

To know that so many innocent civilians

Have been moped out with darts

Spiked with the poisons of greed

And hate and discrimination

There’s so much to be done

But so little time

In my time on Earth I gotta do what I can

To make the tiniest difference in the mind of any man

Any woman, any child, any teen

I want you to know my words truly mean

Something to me

Gotta say thank you to Lowkey for being an absolute G

And Jody Mcintyre for pulling down a cop

And for all the other inspirationals tonight

Who share my same sight

This Capitalist society has won for too long

It’s time for justice to prevail

I wanna be there to see it hail

I wanna see the flags of freedom blowing in the wind

I wanna hear the silenced voices sing

This is our time

Let’s make it happen

Good overcomes evil

We’ve always known that, been taught that

Let's make that reality

Let's do it

STANDARD.

"Half A Cup"

Is that a full cup of tea I see

I asked for ‘half a cup’

Then he went on into a rant about religion

But what that’s got to do with tea

Baffles me

But I guess half a cup is okay

That way

The cup is either half full or half empty

Guess it just depends

On which eyes you’re looking through

She’s engaged now

I don’t even have an ‘en’

Maybe I have too many hopes and wishes

For an Asian girl

But I know I’m not like the others

No matter what people may say to me

For the final time

Must re-iterate that Joe is a hoe

"Lol"

And that's where the story ends

"Lol"

And now this is where the story must end.

Drake's Lopsided Face

No I’m not happy

I’m blessed

Smiling through the non-existent stress

It’ll be back again I’m sure

But right now there’s a sumo sitting in front o’ the door

And I’m gonna say it

I ain’t gonna lie

I didn’t think Drake was that good

But he was pretty fly

Now I think the opposite

The guy’s got sick talent

Just a bit of a lopsided face

But then again who hasn’t

'N'we started off as 3 of us

But tomorrow the first gets engaged

I remember when I used to laugh at the fountain head

And how the 2^nd one was outraged

Oh how time flies

Like the pigs in my dreams

I’d rather live in dreamworld

Than a reality that’s broke at the seams

Right now reality’s good though

Although I wish I could hold my Dad’s hand again

I look down at my hands and I just see his

He really was one of the few good men

There’s people that think I’ll be writing about them

But to be honest just like I didn’t see you today

I don’t wanna waste my time

Rather give my time to those that need it

That want it

Rather give a penny to the guy

I know what the owners think of her

And probably us now too

But who cares what people think

Because thinking...

Well that's one thing that people don't really do

Not much anyway

Blinded by media, by people, by love

And sometimes downright unfortunate like Stevie Wonder

Everyone looks at things differently

Setting their world all of a blunder

Like thunder

And storms

There’s rain pouring down

But after a storm must come a cloud

And after the cloud must come the Sun

Everything starts then everything’s done

Grateful and blessed for the people in my life

Realised you don’t need many

Especially those that just bring you strife

And I still love him

I always will

I’d probably lay down my life for him

Even still

The text with the ‘XxX’

Says so much than just that

He knows and I know and that’s all that matters

I loved you, you loved me

More so the latter

It’s okay now, I’m happy for him

Saw his son in my dream

And it was like I was his

And he was mine

God’s trying to tell me something 

I heard it through the grapevine

Tonight I sleep smiling

And if tomorrow I don’t wake

The people I love know that I love them

Don't be too sad

Just remember this

Everyday is decided by fate.