Mustard-Coloured Shoes

Is it coz I is paki

Or is it coz I is black

Nah it’s more the fact that I’m paki

That’s why you gave me the sack

A sack of potatoes

I’ma throw at your head

And they mummified Alan

All dead in his bed

God rest his soul

If only he knew

The things in death

That the body goes through

I need a job

I got things to do

But I gotta get paid

The way others gotta get laid

But mate that’s bare shadey

I didn’t do owt

Just ‘cause of the mustard coloured shoes

And you threw me out

Oh well, I guess I gotta be my own boss

I wanna be my own boss

Homosexual Nick owes me a tenner

Not gonna let you people steal from me

It’s funny that you don’t let people just be

Gotta be one

All the same

Some weird kind of sick twisted ‘corporate’ game

Got things to do

Time to be a holiday rep

Or go to that wedding next week and just be a tep

Oh shit, I forgot Eid’s coming up

Better book myself a stall

‘n’ then there’s the Mehndi in Sanam Banquet Hall

I need to be in London

The city that actually does sleep

Or roam around and find myself a sheep

Not in that way

Blud, I’m not gay

Just need to pray

‘Cause Allah guides

In disguise

Keep looking

Keep searching

He’s there

Gonna miss Jess

And the Borrowers Borrowers in the tiny training room

Guess this goes to show

That I really am

“more than just a driver”...

I told you so.