Star Plus

Government deals are dodgy deals

You can’t trust even your sister in this day and age

Scrap that, you can’t even trust yourself

You know it’s a bad day when you can’t even find your Sharpie marker

Or when the next day people are leaving to go home across the pond

And when those closest to you start to doubt themselves

What do you do?

Be yourself, be free

That’s the kind of shit they told me

So you pass on the words of wisdom hoping it ain’t all in vain

And today Piers Morgan got up close n personal with the Cowell

What a fuckin’ legend

Shows you how anyone can turn the tables

Round 'n' round 'n' back around again

You don’t have to be called Adele you know

Inspirational, motivational

That’s what I need

Personal trainer Facebook friends

Hoes in different area codes

'N' why feel sorry for yourself, when there’s much to be thankful for

I have a mat to prey on

I have a mat to pray on

I’m thankful

Drinking Lipton Dubai style tea from a pan

I look at the little version of me

Sleeping peacefully

Wishing we could swap places

Nah that’s selfish blud

Don’t do that

I can’t believe how time is flying

Trust me, there’s gonna be pigs in our skies one day soon

It’s difficult to keep the ipod updated

Why don’t people get that

'N' why are some people so weird

Not even good weird, just WEIRD weird

I hate how one person ruins it for everyone

But hey, I may be reunited with the “That’s what she said” guy on Monday

I like people like that

On a level

Real

None of this fake-arse bullshit

The fakest one I ever knew flew away to India today

Probably already going round pulling her knickers down to anyone with a name

I ain’t nobody’s judge but bring me into your shit 'n' you involve me

Anyway I’m so on this

Fuck the world

Fuck the people

Fuck the fake friends who tell you to your face they’ve yarded you off

I’ma make my name regardless

Yusuf really is a twat isn’t he

I guess Eastenders kind of, sort of depicts real-life

There’re all kinds of twats in the world

Thank the world for Star Plus

Sorry, I meant Sky plus

You know what I meant

So don't act like you don't.