Thursday, 27 November 2014

Flawed Consciousness

Slice it open
Let it all pour out 
Like the rain from the clouds
But let your heart spill out
For You are the only One who will ever   understand 
Even I don't understand
As the tears pour from my eyes 
And my hands quiver
Raised in a perfect collaboration towards the skies
And still I don't understand

I just want to be healed
I want to be better
I just want to be the best version of me that is humanly possible
So that I can walk alongside You
Until I return to You

But I am a flawed human being
I guess that just makes me a human being
For I've made one too many mistakes
And sometimes my pride and ego consume me
I always have to be right
And sometimes I am envious
And sometimes I wish I was prettier/slimmer/better
Sometimes I am ungrateful
And many times I have been so very insecure...
But it is when I found myself broken and in pieces on the floor 
That I found myself knocking at Your door

And you found me lost
You guided me
But it is only now that I am truly aware of how I used to be
How I am
How the world is
I woke up
You gave me consciousness
This inner struggle is what's most difficult 
But I know that You will give me all the tools to enable ME to heal me

And sometimes I cry for no reason
And yet only You still understand why.

Sabah Ismail
27.11.14


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