Rooftop Strangers

When it feels like your mind has taken too much

Been through too much

To ever come back from it

And all of a sudden you're stuck in this hole

Screaming silently inside

Don't take me under, don't take me under

Don't make a noise though

Don't wake them up

Accept and move forward

Karma

Is it deserved? Was it deserved?

She opened my eyes to so much

Up on that african rooftop

Let it out

I let it out

Was my voice a stranger to me

Seems like I am a stranger to me

But the book I'm reading right now

Says to find yourself you must lose yourself completely

And I've definitely done the latter

So where am I

And who am I

But don't ever question why

Because this is all what it's meant to be

And these things are to strengthen me

And no matter who tries to break me

Even if it's the ones closest to me

I will not fall

No I will not fall

I will be the eye of the storm

I will be the middle path

I will be acceptance and forgiveness 

I will be consciousness

Just bear with me

While I try and take this weight off my mind first.

SI 19.01.15

Flawed Consciousness

Slice it open

Let it all pour out 

Like the rain from the clouds

But let your heart spill out

For You are the only One who will ever   understand 

Even I don't understand

As the tears pour from my eyes 

And my hands quiver

Raised in a perfect collaboration towards the skies

And still I don't understand

I just want to be healed

I want to be better

I just want to be the best version of me that is humanly possible

So that I can walk alongside You

Until I return to You

But I am a flawed human being

I guess that just makes me a human being

For I've made one too many mistakes

And sometimes my pride and ego consume me

I always have to be right

And sometimes I am envious

And sometimes I wish I was prettier/slimmer/better

Sometimes I am ungrateful

And many times I have been so very insecure...

But it is when I found myself broken and in pieces on the floor 

That I found myself knocking at Your door

And you found me lost

You guided me

But it is only now that I am truly aware of how I used to be

How I am

How the world is

I woke up

You gave me consciousness

This inner struggle is what's most difficult 

But I know that You will give me all the tools to enable ME to heal me

And sometimes I cry for no reason

And yet only You still understand why.

Sabah Ismail

27.11.14

Little Lizard Miracles

Miracles
You perform miracles
Every single day of my life
I begged You to guide me
and You did
To a path I never knew existed
But a path I now call home
But not really home
More like twists and turns and bumps in the road
More like bleeding hearts and broken soles/souls
But home
Because this is the path that will lead me to You
And you led us here
To this beautiful place
Filled with sunshine
Filled with love
A harmony and a peace between people
That I ain't seen for such a long time
Fills my heart with joy
Although tummy's been churning since we arrived
But we got here safely
And almost 2 weeks later
It's like we've never known anything else
Settling into another new temporary home
On this everlasting journey
But in this temporary life
And I see You everywhere
In the mountains I see Your power
In the sunsets I see Your stunning beauty
In the people I see You
I see me, I see everyone and everything
Because essentially isn't that what we all are?
A part of each other
Although apart from each other
Connected spiritually
We'll be together forever
For now I must sleep
While the boy sleeps
Pray for those little lizards to stay outside
But even if they come in, who am I to say anything
They were here first
and I'll soon be on my way
Further along the path
to reach You.

Sabah Ismail
10.10.14

Flying Unicorns / Orange Bedsheets

I remember when I used to look at lightbulbs

I'd see starships

Look up at birds

I'd see flying unicorns

But it kinda disappeared and now I see orange bedsheets

And lost between those sheets 

Is me

I had a magic

a little spark of insanity

It's still in me

Somewhere deep inside

Suffocated 'cause it's out of reach

Where am I 

Where is me

He said to me

Be so strong that nothing can break me

Nothing can upset me

I'm strong

Strong like the hulk

But maybe not so green

But even that's something I gotta work on in me

And it's all a work

On mind, body, spirit and soul

Can I stand through it all

Sway

Bend

Never break?

Ah I see it coming back

I have to write, draw, read

Every single day

I need to feed my soul

To be freedom again

And maybe one day I'll be eating candyfloss again 

Atop the worlds highest, most glorious tree

Sabah Ismail

01.10.14

Life's Seesaw

In this eternal story

Why is it that we smile

If we are only to feel pain again?

Why do we have light

If we are only to succumb to black again?

Why do we open closed doors

If only for them to close again?

Why is that we run and keep running

If we are only to be beaten again?

Why is that we awaken

If we are only to sleep again?

Why is it that we love

If only to have our hearts broken again?

Why is it that we let go

If only to be left clinging on again?

Why is that we soar the skies

If only to break our wings and fall again?

Why is it that we swim majestically

If only to drown on poisons again?

 In this eternal story

Why is it that we begin

If we are only to end again?

--------------------------------------------

In this eternal story

We are loved in a way

That is a love like no other...

He gives us pain, because He loves us

So that one day we learn how to smile again

He gives us darkness, because He loves us

So we can crawl our way towards soul-warming light again

He closes doors, because He loves us

For us only to build new ones leading to where we’re meant to be

He gives us strength to keep running, because He loves us

To let the world know that it can’t defeat us or beat us again

He gives us sleep, because He loves us

So we can appreciate the beauty of opening our eyes once more

He lets our hearts get broken, because He loves us

To help us get our priorities straight and learn to love again properly, but even more

He shows us through our desperate clinging on

The soul-felt liberation that comes when we learn to let go

He breaks our mended wings again

To help us fly even higher than we ever thought

And when we let ourselves drown

He sends us lifelines to bring ourselves up to the surface again

And He does all this

Because He loves us

like no other.

So why is it that we begin

If we are only to end again?

Because when it comes to the end

That is when we truly begin again.

By Sabah Ismail

01.03.13

“He teaches us by means of opposites, so we have two wings to fly, not one.” – Rumi.