Rotting Wood

How can you go from feeling so high to so low

Don’t know

Just don’t know why sometimes I feel this way

Like I just want everything to go away

Including myself

But why think like this

When I have the knowledge to be present

In every single moment

And how can I type or even think

With two little beings around me all day

And I wonder how I’ll cope when the elders go away

And sometimes I’m just silent

I don’t know what to say

Life is so blessed but I miss where I was born

And I know it will take some time to adjust

But it’s just so different this time

Feeling frustrated

Lonely

A bit trapped

A L O N E 

But there is no one to blame in that

I have control over my life and my thoughts

So must become more powerful

Cut through them like a saw

Cuts through wood, rotten wood

Remember the days when I used to be so hood

I feel so different

Different to how I was back then

But that’s life

It changes

The past is forgotten

But there are parts of me that miss who I used to be

I had that little spark of insanity

Crazy ideas, but I knew what I meant

And on changing the world I was hell-bent

But then everything changed

Marriage and kids came along

Made me grey before my time

Although I know my genes play a part

Tomorrow I’ll probably feel good again

Maybe it’s the heat

Being in one place

Noone to visit or to go and see

No one to adorn

C R E A T I V E  B L O C K

Just want to scream

Or cry

Cry and die

Don’t want to leave them

I do think about it sometimes

I couldn’t do that

Not to them

Not to me

Have to accept and believe

That His plan is what is best for me.

Rotten Coloured Penguin

Scrolling, scrolling

Energy, life, laughter

C O L O U R

Sucked away

Like coke through a straw

Sucked in

Making you sick

Sugar rots your teeth

Rots your insides

R O T T E N

But the past

That me

Must be forgotten

I am here

Right here, right now

This is me

The only constant is change

And boi, have I changed

Grateful for it all

Yet a little lost too

On this everlasting journey

Of reaching You

Crazy dreams

Waking me up

Sweating

Wanting to reach out

But there's only me

I'm my own saviour

My own hero

Ain't no one being that for me

So I said a prayer

And cradled myself back to sleep

And it's happening again

Another uncle in pain

But I guess this is life

Just tests in different ways

May God give him ease

And ease for us all

Counting our blessings

Against white, white walls

I'm still a penguin

Somewhere deep inside

Ready to give my love to everyone that wants it

I cannot hide

I miss her so much

Never got to mourn

But what's to mourn

When love is eternal

I just miss her hugs and our goodbyes

My angel

My two angels

My three angels

Four

I pray one day we will reunite

Inside the gates of heavens door.

S.I.09.03.15

Martin's Dream on Chapel Hill

Martin had a dream

I have a dream

Don’t we all dream

But who makes their dreams a reality

I dream of peace

And a world of truth

Not this bullshit media

Who like to lie and accuse

But I don’t blame them

I blame those above them

An agenda where money is at the root of it all

Where money is the reason they kill

Where some lives are more sacred then others

Because what matters is how much money they can get

How much oil they can steal

How many people they can brainwash

And how many people they can divide

Divide and then conquer

It breaks my heart

Arr Eye Pee

To those innocent three

In North Carolina, killed for no reason

Is it a crime to be Muslim

Is it a crime to want peace, to want freedom

You see, I’m trying to change myself everyday

I see us as one, the whole human race

You’re no different to me except from your face

We bleed the same and we cry the same

Yet you’re falling for their game

Their trap where they ensnare you

Wrap you up as bait in their screwed up web of lies

But you have a choice my friend

You HAVE THE CHOICE

Instead of sitting down every night to watch TV

Research and educate yourself

Set yourself free

Don’t let them dictate to you who you should love and who you should hate

This isn’t even about that

Don’t fight violence with violence

Or fire with fire

Don’t fight at all

Douse it with water

Be an alternative

Be the change

I’m starting with me and then I’ll take on the world

Hold my hand, I know it’s brown

But brown is the colour of chocolate and chocolate is good

Walk with me

I’m treading on the path to save humanity.

Rooftop Strangers

When it feels like your mind has taken too much

Been through too much

To ever come back from it

And all of a sudden you're stuck in this hole

Screaming silently inside

Don't take me under, don't take me under

Don't make a noise though

Don't wake them up

Accept and move forward

Karma

Is it deserved? Was it deserved?

She opened my eyes to so much

Up on that african rooftop

Let it out

I let it out

Was my voice a stranger to me

Seems like I am a stranger to me

But the book I'm reading right now

Says to find yourself you must lose yourself completely

And I've definitely done the latter

So where am I

And who am I

But don't ever question why

Because this is all what it's meant to be

And these things are to strengthen me

And no matter who tries to break me

Even if it's the ones closest to me

I will not fall

No I will not fall

I will be the eye of the storm

I will be the middle path

I will be acceptance and forgiveness 

I will be consciousness

Just bear with me

While I try and take this weight off my mind first.

SI 19.01.15

Flawed Consciousness

Slice it open

Let it all pour out 

Like the rain from the clouds

But let your heart spill out

For You are the only One who will ever   understand 

Even I don't understand

As the tears pour from my eyes 

And my hands quiver

Raised in a perfect collaboration towards the skies

And still I don't understand

I just want to be healed

I want to be better

I just want to be the best version of me that is humanly possible

So that I can walk alongside You

Until I return to You

But I am a flawed human being

I guess that just makes me a human being

For I've made one too many mistakes

And sometimes my pride and ego consume me

I always have to be right

And sometimes I am envious

And sometimes I wish I was prettier/slimmer/better

Sometimes I am ungrateful

And many times I have been so very insecure...

But it is when I found myself broken and in pieces on the floor 

That I found myself knocking at Your door

And you found me lost

You guided me

But it is only now that I am truly aware of how I used to be

How I am

How the world is

I woke up

You gave me consciousness

This inner struggle is what's most difficult 

But I know that You will give me all the tools to enable ME to heal me

And sometimes I cry for no reason

And yet only You still understand why.

Sabah Ismail

27.11.14

Little Lizard Miracles

Miracles
You perform miracles
Every single day of my life
I begged You to guide me
and You did
To a path I never knew existed
But a path I now call home
But not really home
More like twists and turns and bumps in the road
More like bleeding hearts and broken soles/souls
But home
Because this is the path that will lead me to You
And you led us here
To this beautiful place
Filled with sunshine
Filled with love
A harmony and a peace between people
That I ain't seen for such a long time
Fills my heart with joy
Although tummy's been churning since we arrived
But we got here safely
And almost 2 weeks later
It's like we've never known anything else
Settling into another new temporary home
On this everlasting journey
But in this temporary life
And I see You everywhere
In the mountains I see Your power
In the sunsets I see Your stunning beauty
In the people I see You
I see me, I see everyone and everything
Because essentially isn't that what we all are?
A part of each other
Although apart from each other
Connected spiritually
We'll be together forever
For now I must sleep
While the boy sleeps
Pray for those little lizards to stay outside
But even if they come in, who am I to say anything
They were here first
and I'll soon be on my way
Further along the path
to reach You.

Sabah Ismail
10.10.14

Shrivelled Roots

Alone

But never alone

In a world so cold

Not cold

Shrivelling within

Need some water

Water my roots

Let me grow again

Wanting too much

Or wanting what's needed

Is it too much to ask 

Never too much to ask

He always listens

He always listens

Gave me what I needed

Not what I wanted

Not yet

Some days strong

Some days still strong but weak inside

They don't know

No-one knows

Everyday struggles

Everyday joys

Days like this I wanna roll up in a ball

Scream into my pillow

No one come running

Running

Running

Far away

Lost in thought

Lost in translation

Run towards the light

Envelop me I scream

Just want to be free

Free from myself more than anyone else

Just want to be free

17.10.14

Head Down / Light On

Little girl

Why so sad

This beautiful world is not all bad

Head down against the ground

The One that listens

He does not judge whether good or bad

Lay your head down

Speak to Him

He knows everything that hides within

A heavy heart

Eyes that bleed

Protecting you was my deed

I've let you down

Let them down

Do not worry

You shall be freed

Happy days aren't far away

Trust me when I say that

You can be everything

You are everything

And everything is there

Inside you

Flick a switch

Turn the light on

Suppressed anger

Turns to love

The world it will hurt you

Only if you let it

But do not break

Even when you sway

Even when you bend

Taught to be strong

From an age so young

A teacher called life 

Just for a short while

Here, then gone

Another life taken

Henning beheaded 

In the name of a God

Who doesn't want this

Using Islam to justify ISIS

Argh

This world 

It's people

The things that they do

What happened to wanting for your neighbour 

What you want for you

Still I smile

And you will too

You're more than my friend

I love you. 

Sabah Ismail

03.10.14

Flying Unicorns / Orange Bedsheets

I remember when I used to look at lightbulbs

I'd see starships

Look up at birds

I'd see flying unicorns

But it kinda disappeared and now I see orange bedsheets

And lost between those sheets 

Is me

I had a magic

a little spark of insanity

It's still in me

Somewhere deep inside

Suffocated 'cause it's out of reach

Where am I 

Where is me

He said to me

Be so strong that nothing can break me

Nothing can upset me

I'm strong

Strong like the hulk

But maybe not so green

But even that's something I gotta work on in me

And it's all a work

On mind, body, spirit and soul

Can I stand through it all

Sway

Bend

Never break?

Ah I see it coming back

I have to write, draw, read

Every single day

I need to feed my soul

To be freedom again

And maybe one day I'll be eating candyfloss again 

Atop the worlds highest, most glorious tree

Sabah Ismail

01.10.14

Lamp Light

Sat here by lamplight

I sit here and contemplate

On love, life, destiny and fate

Wondering why people complicate

And make things hard

That are just so simple

Why is it so hard to be good

Yet so easy to be sinful

Why do we follow that path

And live our lives in this world

When the path right ahead of us is straight

And so easy to be fulfilled

So thankful for everything

And all that with I’m blessed

I guess when you accept certain situations

You find no reason to be stressed

Live life the clean way

The good way

Live it wholeheartedly

Do the things you want to do

With a pure heart

But remember you ain’t here to stay

So when the world pushes you to your knees

You’re in the perfect position to pray

So turn to the light

To bring you out the dark

And be so thankful that you got

To see another day

Still sat here with my lamp light

Thinking of all the times

I’ve had to fight alone in life

To get to the places I wanna go

And I’m so glad that I have shown

To me

And to all those that didn’t believe in me

That I’d make it to this place

And I’m smiling happily

I know that all good things come to an end

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Friends to strangers

Strangers to... dead

But I’m so thankful I got you as a friend

‘cause life is easier this way

Acceptance is a blessing

It makes things simpler, easier, less frustrating

Thank you Allah

For life, friends, family and dreams

I drop down to my knees

5 times a day

And say your name

Because without you

I know I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Rhythm//Dhol//Bass

Been neglecting you lately

My sparkly internal thoughts

But you’re still there all tossed up inside

In the abyss of my interior morgue

And when I say morgue

I mean the depths of my mind

‘cause in this head it’s kinda all screwed up inside

Sometimes I’m scared to even dive in

‘Cause I never know what I'ma find within

...And there’s another precious life just gone

Just taken away

And you do all you can do

And you pray everyday

But if your time is here

Then you gotta go unfortunately

But he lived a good life

He was a good person

He made it, our Kuly did

But then you think of the ones he left behind

And it breaks your heart from the inside-

Out

There was three of them

And now there’s just two

And it’s so sad ‘cause things ain’t ever gonna be the same

R-D-B

The letters were three

The people were three

The album was THREE

And you can’t have three when there’s just two

God bless you Kuly

God rest you Kuly

I won’t forget the shit we used to chat over twitter

About the pigeons n shit

You were great

You’ll be truly missed

The world will make sure of it

And now you’re flying up there with the rest of ‘em

Rest in Peace and in Music

Rhythm // Dhol // Bass

Your music won’t ever age

And you’ll live on eternally through the things that you did

Blessed the world with a talent so sacred

And then you went...

I guess that’s what we all strive for

Making a name and a living

Loving and giving

Believing, not sinning

And in the end winning

‘Cause when they remember you for good

Long after you’ve gone

I think that really is the one

This is the only guarantee in life

So you gotta make sure you do it right

You can’t go back to God and ask for a new one

It don’t work like that

You ain’t a cat

You only get one chance

You don’t get nine

So live each day like it’s your last

And prepare yourself for the day

You leave us and the world

And return to the Divine.

Unicorn Slaves

See me rhyme these words of a soliloquy

In a soliloquy you see I got the right to be me

To be free

To do all the things I want to do

And be all the things I wanna be

There’s a spark in my belly

Ignition to my fire

Is when I’ll transpire

Go higher

Make my father proud

And leave a name on this Earth

Remembered by a crowd

‘N’ I’ll be there

Rotting in my grave

To the system I’m a slave

Nah I think not

‘Cause when I’m below

I’ll be remembered by people above

Even though while I’m still above

Those even higher wanna watch us drown

In a system where all rights

Are held by a woman in a crown

And we’re nobodies

‘Cause that’s what they made us believe

They made our minds deceive us into not being free

But this is why I’ll be somebody

Not just anybody

Look in my eyes and you’ll see I AM somebody

So come join me on this mountain hike

There’s a pedestal waiting at the top

Don’t look down though

There’s a mighty mighty drop

Don’t worry though

My unicorn will catch you

He had a dream too

To sprout wings and fly

And he worked hard

That’s no word of a lie

And now they call him Pegasus

But he’ll always be my unicorn

I was right there when he was born

And I’ma be there til the end

Even after both our legacies live on.