Rotting Wood

How can you go from feeling so high to so low

Don’t know

Just don’t know why sometimes I feel this way

Like I just want everything to go away

Including myself

But why think like this

When I have the knowledge to be present

In every single moment

And how can I type or even think

With two little beings around me all day

And I wonder how I’ll cope when the elders go away

And sometimes I’m just silent

I don’t know what to say

Life is so blessed but I miss where I was born

And I know it will take some time to adjust

But it’s just so different this time

Feeling frustrated

Lonely

A bit trapped

A L O N E 

But there is no one to blame in that

I have control over my life and my thoughts

So must become more powerful

Cut through them like a saw

Cuts through wood, rotten wood

Remember the days when I used to be so hood

I feel so different

Different to how I was back then

But that’s life

It changes

The past is forgotten

But there are parts of me that miss who I used to be

I had that little spark of insanity

Crazy ideas, but I knew what I meant

And on changing the world I was hell-bent

But then everything changed

Marriage and kids came along

Made me grey before my time

Although I know my genes play a part

Tomorrow I’ll probably feel good again

Maybe it’s the heat

Being in one place

Noone to visit or to go and see

No one to adorn

C R E A T I V E  B L O C K

Just want to scream

Or cry

Cry and die

Don’t want to leave them

I do think about it sometimes

I couldn’t do that

Not to them

Not to me

Have to accept and believe

That His plan is what is best for me.

Rotten Coloured Penguin

Scrolling, scrolling

Energy, life, laughter

C O L O U R

Sucked away

Like coke through a straw

Sucked in

Making you sick

Sugar rots your teeth

Rots your insides

R O T T E N

But the past

That me

Must be forgotten

I am here

Right here, right now

This is me

The only constant is change

And boi, have I changed

Grateful for it all

Yet a little lost too

On this everlasting journey

Of reaching You

Crazy dreams

Waking me up

Sweating

Wanting to reach out

But there's only me

I'm my own saviour

My own hero

Ain't no one being that for me

So I said a prayer

And cradled myself back to sleep

And it's happening again

Another uncle in pain

But I guess this is life

Just tests in different ways

May God give him ease

And ease for us all

Counting our blessings

Against white, white walls

I'm still a penguin

Somewhere deep inside

Ready to give my love to everyone that wants it

I cannot hide

I miss her so much

Never got to mourn

But what's to mourn

When love is eternal

I just miss her hugs and our goodbyes

My angel

My two angels

My three angels

Four

I pray one day we will reunite

Inside the gates of heavens door.

S.I.09.03.15

Shrivelled Roots

Alone

But never alone

In a world so cold

Not cold

Shrivelling within

Need some water

Water my roots

Let me grow again

Wanting too much

Or wanting what's needed

Is it too much to ask 

Never too much to ask

He always listens

He always listens

Gave me what I needed

Not what I wanted

Not yet

Some days strong

Some days still strong but weak inside

They don't know

No-one knows

Everyday struggles

Everyday joys

Days like this I wanna roll up in a ball

Scream into my pillow

No one come running

Running

Running

Far away

Lost in thought

Lost in translation

Run towards the light

Envelop me I scream

Just want to be free

Free from myself more than anyone else

Just want to be free

17.10.14

Flying Unicorns / Orange Bedsheets

I remember when I used to look at lightbulbs

I'd see starships

Look up at birds

I'd see flying unicorns

But it kinda disappeared and now I see orange bedsheets

And lost between those sheets 

Is me

I had a magic

a little spark of insanity

It's still in me

Somewhere deep inside

Suffocated 'cause it's out of reach

Where am I 

Where is me

He said to me

Be so strong that nothing can break me

Nothing can upset me

I'm strong

Strong like the hulk

But maybe not so green

But even that's something I gotta work on in me

And it's all a work

On mind, body, spirit and soul

Can I stand through it all

Sway

Bend

Never break?

Ah I see it coming back

I have to write, draw, read

Every single day

I need to feed my soul

To be freedom again

And maybe one day I'll be eating candyfloss again 

Atop the worlds highest, most glorious tree

Sabah Ismail

01.10.14

Life's Seesaw

In this eternal story

Why is it that we smile

If we are only to feel pain again?

Why do we have light

If we are only to succumb to black again?

Why do we open closed doors

If only for them to close again?

Why is that we run and keep running

If we are only to be beaten again?

Why is that we awaken

If we are only to sleep again?

Why is it that we love

If only to have our hearts broken again?

Why is it that we let go

If only to be left clinging on again?

Why is that we soar the skies

If only to break our wings and fall again?

Why is it that we swim majestically

If only to drown on poisons again?

 In this eternal story

Why is it that we begin

If we are only to end again?

--------------------------------------------

In this eternal story

We are loved in a way

That is a love like no other...

He gives us pain, because He loves us

So that one day we learn how to smile again

He gives us darkness, because He loves us

So we can crawl our way towards soul-warming light again

He closes doors, because He loves us

For us only to build new ones leading to where we’re meant to be

He gives us strength to keep running, because He loves us

To let the world know that it can’t defeat us or beat us again

He gives us sleep, because He loves us

So we can appreciate the beauty of opening our eyes once more

He lets our hearts get broken, because He loves us

To help us get our priorities straight and learn to love again properly, but even more

He shows us through our desperate clinging on

The soul-felt liberation that comes when we learn to let go

He breaks our mended wings again

To help us fly even higher than we ever thought

And when we let ourselves drown

He sends us lifelines to bring ourselves up to the surface again

And He does all this

Because He loves us

like no other.

So why is it that we begin

If we are only to end again?

Because when it comes to the end

That is when we truly begin again.

By Sabah Ismail

01.03.13

“He teaches us by means of opposites, so we have two wings to fly, not one.” – Rumi.

Searching The Empty Seas

Lying in the ocean

And the waves become your skin

You become one with the Earth and the sand

And the sea

I am you, and you are me

We together are everything

And even more than that we’ll be

So take my hand here

And come on, walk with me

Seeing his face in my dreams

Knowing he’s happy

Knowing he’s there watching down on me

Makes everything real

More real than I thought it could be

Making him proud is all I ever wanted

I hope he can see this

And believe this

I’ll achieve this

With him on my side

And Him all around me

I wish for them to be everywhere I will be

And I want you to follow me

On the path that I took

You see I closed the old one

And started writing a whole new book

This ink right here flows smoothly

Beautifully

No blotches, spurts

Nothing unnecessary

Just everything that was destined for me

If He brings you to it He will bring you through it

In that you just don’t know how much I believe

I’ve been tested, contested continuously

But this peace I feel

Is nothing you’ve ever known

Like my soul is free

I want this feeling forever

I want Him to stay near to me

I’m flying, soaring, crying

It’s stunning

I can’t explain

The waves should be drowning me

But they fill me with gentle sweetness

They wrap around me

Pull me, tight and whole

Comfortably

I pray to Him just to guide me

The mistakes I make are all me

But the good I do is all from He

Shukkar Alhamdulillah

For all I have

Everything I am

Everything I’ve seen

The pain I’ve felt

The tears I’ve cried

Those times I nearly died

The people that came

The people that left

The smiles I shared

The memories I created

The times I strayed and came back to Him

Just

Alhamdulillah for everything

I can’t even explain to you want I mean

I guess true peace comes from within

Knowing that all you were ever looking for

Was right there inside you

Buried deep

Not as deep as you think

But there all along

Happiness grows from contentment

And for everything always

Thank you Allah

I’m glad you let me finally find you.

Rhythm//Dhol//Bass

Been neglecting you lately

My sparkly internal thoughts

But you’re still there all tossed up inside

In the abyss of my interior morgue

And when I say morgue

I mean the depths of my mind

‘cause in this head it’s kinda all screwed up inside

Sometimes I’m scared to even dive in

‘Cause I never know what I'ma find within

...And there’s another precious life just gone

Just taken away

And you do all you can do

And you pray everyday

But if your time is here

Then you gotta go unfortunately

But he lived a good life

He was a good person

He made it, our Kuly did

But then you think of the ones he left behind

And it breaks your heart from the inside-

Out

There was three of them

And now there’s just two

And it’s so sad ‘cause things ain’t ever gonna be the same

R-D-B

The letters were three

The people were three

The album was THREE

And you can’t have three when there’s just two

God bless you Kuly

God rest you Kuly

I won’t forget the shit we used to chat over twitter

About the pigeons n shit

You were great

You’ll be truly missed

The world will make sure of it

And now you’re flying up there with the rest of ‘em

Rest in Peace and in Music

Rhythm // Dhol // Bass

Your music won’t ever age

And you’ll live on eternally through the things that you did

Blessed the world with a talent so sacred

And then you went...

I guess that’s what we all strive for

Making a name and a living

Loving and giving

Believing, not sinning

And in the end winning

‘Cause when they remember you for good

Long after you’ve gone

I think that really is the one

This is the only guarantee in life

So you gotta make sure you do it right

You can’t go back to God and ask for a new one

It don’t work like that

You ain’t a cat

You only get one chance

You don’t get nine

So live each day like it’s your last

And prepare yourself for the day

You leave us and the world

And return to the Divine.