Rotten Coloured Penguin

Scrolling, scrolling

Energy, life, laughter

C O L O U R

Sucked away

Like coke through a straw

Sucked in

Making you sick

Sugar rots your teeth

Rots your insides

R O T T E N

But the past

That me

Must be forgotten

I am here

Right here, right now

This is me

The only constant is change

And boi, have I changed

Grateful for it all

Yet a little lost too

On this everlasting journey

Of reaching You

Crazy dreams

Waking me up

Sweating

Wanting to reach out

But there's only me

I'm my own saviour

My own hero

Ain't no one being that for me

So I said a prayer

And cradled myself back to sleep

And it's happening again

Another uncle in pain

But I guess this is life

Just tests in different ways

May God give him ease

And ease for us all

Counting our blessings

Against white, white walls

I'm still a penguin

Somewhere deep inside

Ready to give my love to everyone that wants it

I cannot hide

I miss her so much

Never got to mourn

But what's to mourn

When love is eternal

I just miss her hugs and our goodbyes

My angel

My two angels

My three angels

Four

I pray one day we will reunite

Inside the gates of heavens door.

S.I.09.03.15

Head Down / Light On

Little girl

Why so sad

This beautiful world is not all bad

Head down against the ground

The One that listens

He does not judge whether good or bad

Lay your head down

Speak to Him

He knows everything that hides within

A heavy heart

Eyes that bleed

Protecting you was my deed

I've let you down

Let them down

Do not worry

You shall be freed

Happy days aren't far away

Trust me when I say that

You can be everything

You are everything

And everything is there

Inside you

Flick a switch

Turn the light on

Suppressed anger

Turns to love

The world it will hurt you

Only if you let it

But do not break

Even when you sway

Even when you bend

Taught to be strong

From an age so young

A teacher called life 

Just for a short while

Here, then gone

Another life taken

Henning beheaded 

In the name of a God

Who doesn't want this

Using Islam to justify ISIS

Argh

This world 

It's people

The things that they do

What happened to wanting for your neighbour 

What you want for you

Still I smile

And you will too

You're more than my friend

I love you. 

Sabah Ismail

03.10.14

Flying Unicorns / Orange Bedsheets

I remember when I used to look at lightbulbs

I'd see starships

Look up at birds

I'd see flying unicorns

But it kinda disappeared and now I see orange bedsheets

And lost between those sheets 

Is me

I had a magic

a little spark of insanity

It's still in me

Somewhere deep inside

Suffocated 'cause it's out of reach

Where am I 

Where is me

He said to me

Be so strong that nothing can break me

Nothing can upset me

I'm strong

Strong like the hulk

But maybe not so green

But even that's something I gotta work on in me

And it's all a work

On mind, body, spirit and soul

Can I stand through it all

Sway

Bend

Never break?

Ah I see it coming back

I have to write, draw, read

Every single day

I need to feed my soul

To be freedom again

And maybe one day I'll be eating candyfloss again 

Atop the worlds highest, most glorious tree

Sabah Ismail

01.10.14

Rats & Jihaad

Sorry state of affairs

In everything I see

Turn to my left and I see them hating

To the right they’re making a mockery

Yet we sit here and we’re calm

Like it’s not really that big a deal

But don’t you see the injustice around you

Those going X Large

When some don’t even get a meal

Doesn’t something click

When you see that most of the world’s poor

Looks just like you?

Brown eyes, brown skin,

Like rats to them infesting the Earth

And really nothing more

They turned a whole generation against us

With some spoof scam

Making it out it was an act of Jihaad

When in fact we know better than that

We face Jihaad everyday

A struggle, fighting for our beliefs

But somehow deep within myself

I still really believe

That the people will rise

One day we’ll be free

Coming together as one

For the sake of humanity

All of this will be left in the past

I’m hoping it will make history books

But maybe I’m dreaming too far

And even if it doesn’t happen right now

Or in my lifetime

Or even in this next century

I know we’ll prevail

Because one thing I always remembered

Is that in the end

Good always overcomes evil.

Stole My Broken Wings

Lost in a bubble of anxiety

A broken hole full of cracks

Emptiness on which I choke

And a sadness at which I laugh

Entities all around

Floating within my reach

Reaching out my fingers

To clasp onto that which I need

They tease me and they mock me

As they jump away from my touch

Electricity-like against my skin

Burning me just too much

I close my wings around me

And lay down my head to rest

I know one day that I’ll break free

I know I’ll be the best

I am the best ‘cause there is only me

That’s all I’ll ever have

Floating alone in the universe

A sanely psychotic delusionary

Who is slowly going mad

Sparkling a little too dangerously

Enticing me with their light

Seducing me with their beauty

They are the reason I’ll take flight

These hollow wings are my haven though

This black hole a place I call home

This place cannot exist without me

Without me it is gone

A rainbow-coloured spectrum

Twists its way through my veins

Turning my blood from black

To everything insane

Yet I feel my wings thickening

I feel my insides come alive

I kick back and push myself

I’ve found a way to survive

Suddenly it closes in

The darkness places its hand over my mouth

It creeps into my eyeballs

From every place it sprouts

It tightens in around me

Coiling around my wings

And suddenly they’re broken too

And everything disappears

Floating in bubbles around me

They laugh like my pain is their medicine

They whip me with their silent words

It’s like my life is their experiment

Without my wings I take a seat

Their chains weighing me down

I sit there and take in the air

The air on which I now know

that I am destined

To drown.

Diamond Mines

They come and go

The people come and go

Enemies disguised as friends

Ready to pull the trigger

Smash a glass

And do a little dance over your grave

Then you got the others

Who follow like the sheep in a crowd

Just wanna be in with you til they get what they want

And piss off down a mine

To bask in the glory of the light of your diamonds

And that is life exactly

Sparkly, precious, beautiful

VALUABLE

Yet around the world they kill for no reason

Pull triggers on women and children

For no reason

Kill our brothers and sisters for no reason

And yet we sit here with a reason to fight

Yet we do nothing with that reason

Makes you wonder

Why we’re here if we ain’t gonna fight

Gonna sit around on your arse all your life?

Do nothing important with your life?

Don’t you wanna be remembered for doing a little something

Even a tiny little something

To help save the world?

Don’t you wanna be someone that helped save a life?

I see you guys laugh at me

When you ask me what I want from life

And I say I want to save the world

But none of you get it

‘cause it will happen

In some way I’ll play my part

and I know exactly what I mean

I already am actually

Enemies or friends by my side

Angels and devils in disguise

I’ll make it without you

Missing certain people

Certain times

Certain places, feelings and things

But when God brings you to this

He does it for the best

‘cause when I asked Him to remove my enemies

I started losing friends.

Lamp Light

Sat here by lamplight

I sit here and contemplate

On love, life, destiny and fate

Wondering why people complicate

And make things hard

That are just so simple

Why is it so hard to be good

Yet so easy to be sinful

Why do we follow that path

And live our lives in this world

When the path right ahead of us is straight

And so easy to be fulfilled

So thankful for everything

And all that with I’m blessed

I guess when you accept certain situations

You find no reason to be stressed

Live life the clean way

The good way

Live it wholeheartedly

Do the things you want to do

With a pure heart

But remember you ain’t here to stay

So when the world pushes you to your knees

You’re in the perfect position to pray

So turn to the light

To bring you out the dark

And be so thankful that you got

To see another day

Still sat here with my lamp light

Thinking of all the times

I’ve had to fight alone in life

To get to the places I wanna go

And I’m so glad that I have shown

To me

And to all those that didn’t believe in me

That I’d make it to this place

And I’m smiling happily

I know that all good things come to an end

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Friends to strangers

Strangers to... dead

But I’m so thankful I got you as a friend

‘cause life is easier this way

Acceptance is a blessing

It makes things simpler, easier, less frustrating

Thank you Allah

For life, friends, family and dreams

I drop down to my knees

5 times a day

And say your name

Because without you

I know I wouldn’t be where I am today.

1 Year On.

I pulled down my Script hoody

Pulled it on with joggers and my connies

Dashed my law books in a satchel

And made my way to Ronnies

Not knowing as I sat in that library

My Pua was losing his fight

Kinda knowing in the back of my mind

That someone was gonna lose life

And she called me and we laughed

‘cause the signal kept going

And there were bare freshies in the library that night

Pulling an all-nighter just like me

But why was that the one night I decided

At home I didn’t wanna be?

Something took me there that night

I remember jumping out to see my mate

Something was playing on my mind

And it was like really really late

And she was bbming me

And we were laughing ‘cause she kept calling

But it kept cutting off

But was that God giving us some kinda sign from above?

There I was typing my land law notes

For an exam taking place in 2 days

With a feeling inside me that there was no point

‘cause for some reason I wasn’t gonna sit it

Not knowing God was about to take him

And then it flashed up on my bbm

The emoticon that to this day still breaks my heart

Everyone had been trying to call me

But there I was stuck on the first floor of the library

But from the moment I saw that face

Something inside me snapped

I knew he wasn’t here no more

And then my phone started ringing

So I ran out to the stairwell on the first floor

And all I heard was sobbing

And I knew he was no more

And I screamed out in pain

A pain I can’t describe

And a man walked past me

“Love, are you okay?”

“No, no...” I choked out,

“My... Uncle... just passed away”

But you see to people he’s just my uncle

But to me he was much more than just that

The only person I believe genuinely cared

After the passing of my Dad

And a year ago God called him home too

In a way

I’m glad God relieved his pain

But he was another one called home too soon

And we miss him

We all miss him so bad

He was a genuine angel

A loving and caring Dad

A devoted husband and a god-fearing man

And they say the people that suffer pain in this life

God will look after in the next

And if that’s the case then my dear Pua

Is in the best places of the best

I look forward to the day we all see him again

Hold him again

Laugh with him again

You know, just like we used to

I miss you my beautiful Pua, I really really do

I hope you’re smiling down from Heaven

‘cause all we wanna do is make you all proud

And Insha’Allah we’ll get there

Before Allah calls us home too

Just remember we all love you so much

And we know you love us too.

Gone from sight for now, but never forgotten. I love you my Pua Mammoo. Hope you're resting in peace. xxx